TRASHY SIGNS, SLOGANS AND OFFICE MOTTOS
Part 2




Talk is cheap because
the supply exceeds the demand.



THE BILL OF RIGHTS
(Void where prohibited by law)





 






In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.







A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory



How come we have to choose
from just 2 persons for president,
and 50 for Miss America?





Remember:

FIRST you pillage,
THEN you burn.









Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.







If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven't met everybody.





I Live in my own little world,
But it's OK,
Everyone knows me here.







Stop  the  Slaughter!
Boycott  Baby  Oil!







Money does grow on trees.
It's just that the banks
own all the branches.







GOD IS LOVE.
LOVE IS BLIND.
Stevie Wonder is Blind.
therefore,
Stevie Wonder is God.







You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.















TRIP REPORTS,
PHOTO ESSAYS
and
TRAVEL PAGES


The ROTTERDAM
Panama Canal Cruise


The NOORDAM
Mediterranian Cruise


The RYNDAM
Mexican Riviera
Cruise


The M/V NOORDAM
Caribbean Cruise


The
SCHOONER LEGACY
cruising the
ABC Islands


M/V AMAZING GRACE
Sailing From
Trinidad to Tahiti


The
AMAZING GRACE
in the Caribbean
A Trip Report


HMS SURPRISE
The Maritime Museum
of San Diego



The SICILY Pictures

The MALTA Pictures

The TUNISA Pictures

The ROME Pictures

The LISBON Pictures


The Pictures from
TAHITI, BORA BORA
and MOOREA



HILL AFB
Historic Military
Aircraft Pictures



JAMMERLINKS
A Resource Page
For Windjammer
Sailing Fans



The
LAS VEGAS Pictures



The HEBER CREEPER


The GOLDEN SPIKE
Historic Site



NAVIGATE WITH
FORTOGDEN
SITEMAP








OTHER

WEB PAGES


NAUTICAL TERMS
Used in
COMMON EXPRESSIONS



THE WIT AND
WISDOM OF
STEVEN WRIGHT



THE MYSTERY of
THE MARY CELESTE



The BATTLE of
THE SAINTES



TRASHY SIGNS,
SLOGANS & OFFICE MOTTOS



YOU MIGHT BE
a REDNECK If...




The DANCING
BABIES' DISCO




NAVIGATE WITH
FORTOGDEN'S
SITEMAP




A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the driver’s door.

“Is there a problem Officer?”

The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?”

The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one?”

The man responds, “I lost it for drunk driving.”

The policeman is shocked. “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

The policeman says, “Why not?”

“I stole this car.”

The officer says, “Stole it?”

The man says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”

At this point the officer is getting stressed. “You what!?”

“She’s in the trunk of the car if you want to see.”

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for backup. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car with a drawn gun.

The senior officer says “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!”

The man steps out of his vehicle. “Is there a problem Officer?”

The officer responds, “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?”

The man opens the trunk lid, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

The officer says, “Is this your car sir?”

The man says “Yes,” and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.

“One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.” The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. “Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”

The man replies, “And I'll bet that lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!”









I always wanted to be a procrastinator,
I just never got around to it.







There will always be death and taxes,
however, death doesn't get worse every year.







I DON'T GET EVEN.
I GET ODDER.







A flashlight is a case
for holding dead batteries.







Bills travel through the mail
at twice the speed of checks.







Ever stop to think
and forget to start again..







Evidence has been found that William Tell
and his family were avid bowlers. However,
all the league records were unfortunately
destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know
for whom the Tells bowled.







- MASSACHUSETTS STATE MOTTO

HOME OF THE YOUNG GIRLS FROM NANTUCKET







Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?






I don't do drugs anymore
'cause I get the same effect
by just standing up too fast.





If you're going to lay around the house and drink beer all day, you gotta start early in the morning.





Borrow money from a pessimist.
They don't expect it back.






Daddy, Why doesn't this magnet
pick up this CD disk?





Forget about world peace.
Visulize using your turn signal.





To all you virgins:
Thanks For Nothing!








If we quit voting,
will they all go away?








ONCE YOU'RE OVER THE HILL
YOU PICK UP SPEED





It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.







If ignorance is bliss,
why aren't more people happy?







Hard work will pay off later.
Laziness pays off now!





Don't start vast projects with half-vast ideas.







If marriages were outlawed,
only outlaws would have in-laws.







- bumper sticker -

All men are idiots,
And I married their king.









And your crybaby whiney-assed
opinion would be...?






A hangover is the wrath of grapes.






So Many Cats
So Few Recipes






NEVER KICK A FRESH COW CHIP ON A HOT DAY












Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will
sit in a boat and drink beer all day.







KENNEDY COMPOUND
KEEP OUT
Trespassers will be violated







A picture is worth a thousand words
but it uses up a thousand times the memory







Unless you are the lead dog
the view never changes.








To err is human.
  To forgive is against company policy.





Without C We would have to
program in
Basi and Pasal






The Village called.
They're missing their idiot.







> Digitarians are members of
the First Church of Binary Science.








DRIVER CARRIES NO MONEY
He's Married







Tell Me again
how lucky I am
to work here.

I keep forgetting.







Ambivalent?
Well, yes and no.





Seen it all.   Done it all.
Can't remember most of it.





SITUATION DESPERATE!
Send Chocolate.







If you love something, set it free.
If it doesn't come back,
hunt it down and kill it.






How long is this beta guy
going to keep testing our stuff?





-bumper sticker-
Horn broken. watch for finger.






INSTANT HUMAN
(Just Add Coffee)







For Sale --  Iraqi rifle.
Never fired. Dropped once.





Chaos, Panic and Disorder!
My work here is done.






Grow your own dope
Plant a man !







An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day.   After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.  The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."







Televangelists:
The pro wrestlers of religion.






- NEW HAMPSHIRE STATE MOTTO -

ALMOST AS EXCITING AS VERMONT







What happens if you get scared
half to death twice?






I'm not tense,
just terribly, terribly alert.





STOP REPEAT OFFENDERS!
Don't Re-elect Them.







The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.





He who dies with the most toys
is nonetheless dead.






I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.







Jesus is coming!
Look busy.






Cleanliness is next to
"clean and jerk"
in the dictionary.






To err is human
To forgive is to err






Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes







It's not hard to meet expenses,
They're everywhere.





DON'T SQUAT WITH YOUR SPURS ON






Think of the lottery
as a tax break
for the intelligent.






Two wrongs do not make a right.
  But three lefts do.





ATHEISM:
A non-prophet organization.






Who are these kids
and why do they call me "Mom"?






- RHODE ISLAND STATE MOTTO -

SIZE ISN'T EVERYTHING









- bumper sticker -
If a woman's place is in the home
why am I always in this car!








Moosehead:  A great beer and
A new experience for a moose.








Is reading in the bathroom
considered multi-tasking?






If you run out of sick days,
call in dead.





186,000 mps: it's not just a good idea
-- it's the law!






1.799 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight:
'Tis a grand Idea, and it doth be the Law.







If you hold a UNIX Shell up to your ear,
can you hear the C?







Where there's smoke, there's dinner.






A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.






All true wisdom is found on t-shirts.






Digital circuits are made from analog parts.






How much can I get away with
and still go to heaven?






One-Seventh of your life will be spent on Mondays.






Hello? Front Desk?
Some guy named Gideon left his bible here.










Click Here to go to
TRASHY SIGNS, SLOGANS
and OFFICE MOTTOS - Part 3









STATEMENT OF POLITICAL
and MORAL CORRECTNESS
Full noodle frontery will not be displayed on Fort Ogden pages. This site contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. We support the natural release of dihydrogen monoxide from the atmosphere. We also comply with the data recycling act of 1997. We respect and celebrate St. Swithin's Day. We fully support efforts to save the world's remaining octothorpes in their natural habitat. The surgeon general warns that doing most anything can be harmful. Member of FDIC. Batteries not included. Some assembly may be required. No animals were harmed in the testing of these pages, although some were aroused.    This site was pre-recorded for this time zone.

This statement was prepared upon the urging and advise
of our legal counsel, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.



Our beloved founder,
Elwood J. Krotchbaum, 1899~2004
May he rest in peace.



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